A belated apology to my dear mum

Dear Mum…

I don’t think I ever thanked you for those months at the beginning of my life when you doted on me no matter what. I confess that I was just testing you, trying to see how far I could push you – you were just so nice to me all the time…So  I played a few cruel tricks on you. Just for kicks really.

Now that I’m experiencing this first hand myself (karma hey?) I think a few apologies are long overdue. So here goes…

I’M SO SORRY FOR:

Taylor pretending

• Throwing the dummy out of my crib for the seventh time that night. I decided I didn’t want it after all.
• Letting you change my outfit and then weeing all over it in the 4 seconds you took to swap my nappy. I thought I was being funny. You clearly didn’t.
• Pretending to be asleep every time the health visitor, midwife, friends, family visited so that you would look like a big fat fibber.
• Letting you take ages swaddling me and then breaking out of it as soon as you put me down. I thought you were testing my motor skills.
• Waiting until you settled down to watch the next episode of that drama you were in to and then screaming for you. I just wanted to see whodunnit.
• Eye-balling and smiling at you during the night feeds. I knew you were trying not to look at me.
• Crying for food for two hours and then falling back to sleep once you got up to make the bottle. I was just playing with you.

Please forgive me, I knew not what I did.